It’s pretty easy to fall in love. It’s also surprisingly easy to lose our connection to that love.

No one enters into a relationship determined to mess it up. We have much higher expectations than that and often we achieve those expectations. But then time enters into the equation and what once worked well can start to deteriorate. Sometimes we’re the last people to see this happen.

It’s incredibly difficult, probably impossible, to be in a relationship and not have things go off the rails, at least some of the time. We are human and we make mistakes. We can also be quite good at blaming—either ourselves or others—but that will never help us have a better relationship.

Often the thing we want most is to have a relationship. Then we get one and don’t quite know what to do once things start not working. One thing to consider doing is to get some outside help. You could start by reading a book about relationships and after that, go see someone who works with couples. Yes, I do that, but you don’t have to see me, just see someone. Your relationship is on the line and it deserves both of you investing in it.

People are fairly complex, but we repeat most of our thoughts and behaviors daily. We’re sort of like looping machines. Individuals definitely do this and couples do as well. Learning the what and why about your repetitive actions and thoughts is a crucial to your understanding yourself and your relationship. That takes some time and work.

Relationships are plastic and mutable. If we’re not paying attention, one day we can find ourselves in a relationship we don’t recognize. No one wants that.

Appointments are available in my Los Angeles office, by phone, or via Skype or FaceTime.


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