Take a moment to think about what is truly important to you.
Here are some options: your family; your current relationship if you have one and if you don’t, finding a relationship; your children if you have them and if you don’t, having some; your career or discovering a career you love; your creative expression; making more money; getting out of debt; getting high; food; exercise; movies; your favorite TV shows; music; video games; working; shopping; reading; electronic toys; fashion; travel; sports; yoga; Pilates; personal growth; meditation; expanding your consciousness; deepening your spiritual awareness.
You might have other choices but this list is a good place to start. So the question isn’t, What do you want to be important to you? it’s, What IS important to you?
You find the answer by looking at what you actually do, not at what you want to be doing. If you would like to be working on something creative for example, but you don’t, then it’s not actually all that important to you. That may not settle well, but the truth is, if creating something were important to you, you’d be doing it. Maybe you wouldn’t be making a living at it, but you would be creating something.
If you’d like to swap out your unhealthy relationship for a healthy one—which can mean working to make the unhealthy one healthy as much as it can mean leaving the unhealthy one and finding something better—but you don’t, then having a healthy relationship isn’t all that important to you.
If you'd like to have more money, but you don't take steps to earn more money and learn ways to invest it when you get it so it can grow, and then find ways to simultaneously cutback on your expenses, then having more money isn't all that important to you.
You get the idea.
Most of us can come up with a self-convincing reason not to do something that we’re telling ourselves we want to be doing. Before long, that reason can create a block and blocks stop us. Who wants that?
If something is truly important to you, find a way to take action and be willing to allow that action to be highly imperfect, awkward and uncomfortable. Doing this perfectly is just not the point. Making a bit of a mess of something in the beginning is how it works for most of us.
A baby’s first steps are wobbly, weak, tentative and destined to put that kid on its bum very soon. But then what happens? That infant keeps at it and with help learns to walk, run, jump, skateboard, and if the kid is anything like me, pirouette like a top.
Identify what is important to you and let yourself go after it imperfectly. Fall on your bum a few times—or a hundred times if necessary—all you have to do is get up and keep going. Stop over thinking and let yourself take a few wobbly steps. Ask for help when you need it, and you probably will, and let yourself JUST KEEP GOING. Otherwise, what is important to you is likely to be everything you don’t like.