Category Archives: Phase One

Q&A 4 Expanded!

I love when people personalize their experience with Heal Your Broken Heart by expanding the exercises that especially resonate with them. Often that expansion happens by spending more time thinking and writing about an exercise. Other times something quite surprising can happen.

Sean had the surprising version happen when he was working on Qamp1.1A 4, which many of you know is a wonderfully informative exercise in its standard format. Sean, who has not thought of himself as a visual artist, was moved to create a visual representation of the seven emotions he chose to work on. He was kind enough to send those pictures to me and I thought you would enjoy seeing them.

This doesn’t suggest that you need to do drawings of your Qamp1.1A 4 emotions, but it is good to know that you can expand anything in the book that you would like to in any way that suits you.

As a result of this experience I think Sean is rethinking his abilities as a visual artist. You may also discover as Sean has that self-discovery goes hand in hand with healing your broken heart.

Sean picked these seven Qamp1.1A 4 emotions to delve into: fear, unwanted, shame, rage, needy, abandoned and loneliness. To begin, his piece on fear is done on three separate sheets of paper followed by a photo of the complete piece.

Sean.Fear3

 

Sean.Fear1

 

Sean.Fear2

And the full piece:

Sean.Fear.Comp

 

Next is his powerful piece on feeling unwanted.

Sean.Unwanted

 

Sean’s piece on shame:

Sean.Shame

 

Rage:

Sean.Rage

 

Feeling needy:

Sean.Needy

 

Abandoned:

Sean.Abandonement

 

And to end, loneliness:

Sean.Loneliness

Like the Heart Drawings you’re making, these pieces give us a glimpse into what these seven emotions feel like to another person. Often color, texture and shape have the ability to express what words fail to. I know you thank Sean as I do for sharing these extraordinary pieces with us.

What would you like to share from your work with Heal Your Broken Heart?

Posted on by Michael Kane Posted in Book, Phase One | Leave a comment

Phase One: Q&As 3 and 4

Not all Qamp1.1As are the same. Some take longer than others and are more challenging.    Qamp1.1A 3, and the exercise that results from it as described in  Qamp1.1A 4, are two of the longer, more challenging Qamp1.1As because they bring into focus what is actually going on with you emotionally. By identifying which of the 84 emotions on the list you relate to, you’re given the precise language you need to help you articulate exactly what you’re feeling.

Gaining this vocabulary allows you to see why you feel the way you do. With this important information you can address each of those emotions directly, instead of simply suffering from your current jumble of hurt.

Taking the emotions you checked in Qamp1.1A 3, or at least the ones that seem the most problematic for you, and following the exercise in Qamp1.1A 4 will not only help you begin to make more sense of what you’ve been feeling, it will also teach you how to start processing those specific emotions.

You’ll be able to apply this same technique as you continue to work through Heal Your Broken Heart and beyond.

Many people seem to be spending several weeks actively working through Qamp1.1A 4—which I think is great—but you may end up spending less time, and that’s totally fine, too. Discover what works best for you and take whatever time you need to heal.

Posted on by Michael Kane Posted in Book, Phase One | Leave a comment

Statement of Acknowledgment

The Statement of Acknowledgment—a statement and an agreement rolled into one—comes early in Phase One. In many ways it foreshadows how the book works by addressing two important ideas simultaneously.

As you know, the statement reads, “My heart has been broken and I truly want to heal it.” By signing, you are accepting the truth of the statement and acknowledging your commitment to heal.

Copying and signing the Statement of Acknowledgment, then placing it in your Healing Center (I put mine in the very center of the Healing Center I’m constructing for this blog, but you can put yours wherever you like), is the formal beginning of healing your heart.

It’s a big deal to do this, so celebrate the fact that you have! Then, reread the Statement of Acknowledgment at the beginning of each new Phase to reaffirm your commitment to heal your broken heart.

Posted on by Michael Kane Posted in Book, Phase One | Leave a comment

Healing Center – Ph. One and Two

You’re working to heal from a loss that has created a void in your life, even if the loss happened years ago. One way we help fill that void is through the construction of your personal Healing Center.

Every Healing Center is different, but each one fulfills the same objective by giving its owner a visual representation of his or her healing. And that visual portrayal reflects back love, understanding and clarity to each of us.

I thought you would enjoy seeing a version of a Healing Center as it develops from phase to phase. It might give you some ideas for your own Healing Center.

Pictured below is the 3′ x 4′ board I’ll be using—you can use something smaller or larger if you like. The board is actually stretched canvas, just like the ones painters use, with foam core mounted on the backside so the pushpins I’ll be using have something solid to go into. You don’t need to use anything this elaborate, but it’s one option. The book offers other suggestions, but if you need help with figuring out what to use for your Healing Center, please feel free to ask. I want you to have the best Healing Center possible!

I’ve hung the canvas on a wall at my office, so if you’re in Los Angeles you could drop by and see the real thing. Hanging your Healing Center is one possibility, but you could also lean it against a wall. Once I had someone make a tri-fold screen for their Healing Center. It was a sophisticated idea and made their Healing Center freestanding. Personally, I don’t think I would have been able to manage something quite that elaborate. We should each do what works best for us.

Here’s my blank canvas.

Blank Healing Center

Next is what the canvas looks like at the completion of Phases One and Two. Note the First Heart Drawing in the upper left corner—of course yours could go anywhere you like. The First Statement of Agreement, the First Statement of Release and some verse are in the center of the board.

Over on the right is an example of the Quick Draw exercise, and below it are a number of “heart quotes” — those italicized sayings that are peppered throughout the text. They were my response to the “Add any useful quotes from this phase to your Healing Center” suggestion that shows up in the Exercise Review sections.

Healing Center - Phases 1 & 2

The last picture is of the pins I’m using on the board. You don’t have to just use one type of pin, but I liked the look of these with their compact, white rounded heads, so I’ve made them the one unifying element on the board.

IMG_1592

Soon we’ll see how my Healing Center looks at the end of Phase Four. Until then, keep reading, working on the exercises and constructing your Healing Center.

Posted on by Michael Kane Posted in Book, Healing Center, Phase One, Phase Two | Leave a comment