Heal Your Broken Heart

Don’t Skip Stuff

It’s interesting how our mind can so easily talk us out of doing what is good for us. When it comes to some of the exercises in the book, for example, we sometimes tell ourselves that we don’t need to answer certain questions or do specific tasks. As we’re letting ourselves off the hook in this way it usually feels like we’re simply expediting the work by not doing something we’re sure we don’t need to do. You know, that will give us more time to focus on what we know we need.

Our criteria for this sort of determination is based on not having enough information rather than having too much. In essence, we’re ignorant of what we don’t know. I’ve always believed in one important adage about the self: “There is always more to learn about who I am.” It’s both humbling and true. I feel this way about myself and I have only benefitted from thinking this way.

Someone who is working through the book a second time recently told me that when he first went through the material he didn’t think he needed to do the phase end Taking Stock sections and passed over all of them. As he went through the material a second time, working on a different broken heart, he realized he’d missed one of the most important experiences of working with the book.

On his first pass through the material his mind told him he didn’t need to check in with the status of his heart in every phase. It made sense to him at the time, but like everything we are better off doing that we avoid, there was something that actually made him uncomfortable about writing about his progress at the end of each phase. Although to his conscious mind it didn’t feel like he was uncomfortable or resisting. In fact, it felt completely neutral to him. But it wasn’t a neutral; it was a response to fear.

Fear is not love and to heal our hearts we must love ourselves more. Following the regime of the book without omissions is one perfect way to love yourself. If there are exercises or suggestions in the book that you find yourself resisting or simply passing over, slow down and let yourself do them. You will learn something very important in the process.

Posted on by Michael Kane Posted in Book, Thoughts, Tips | Leave a comment

The Power of Letting Go

Throughout Heal Your Broken Heart you are asked to let go of old thinking, historical problematic patterns about love, and eventually your ex. Phase upon phase you are presented with a variety of releasing requests each from a different perspective. The reason to let go of everything that isn’t working for you is so that you will be able to move forward. If you don’t let go you’ll remain stuck in your pain and not heal, which is definitely not what you’re working towards.

Letting go of everything that I ask you to is not always easy. Sometimes it can seem that holding onto something, even if it’s hurting you, is better than feeling you have nothing at all. You want to heal but you may also want to cling to the story of your breakup and the definition you now have of your ex. Letting go of your ex, along with any emotions that are binding you to him/her, is what will free you and heal you. This can’t be forced. It’s more than a matter of simply wanting to let go. You have to be ready. The book prepares you for each of the progressively challenging releases, so know that you will be en pointe as each one arrives.

One of the best results of letting go is that you discover how good it feels to do it. It might be hard to imagine that you could actually experience feeling good in the midst of hurting from your broken heart, but it does happen.

Having your heart broken can feel like everything around you suddenly freezes. It’s like being encased in a massive glacier in a matter of seconds. The healing process breaks that glacier into smaller more manageable pieces that begin to move away from you and dissolve, diminishing and eventually removing your pain. The Heal Your Broken Heart releases are a major part of the healing process that in the end will return your heart to you.

Posted on by Michael Kane Posted in Book, Thoughts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment